What happens when you’re not a trained assassin but just an ordinary person who’s somehow found themselves with a dead body in a hotel room? That’s the absurd premise of We Are So Cooked, a new physics-based stealth game where the real challenge isn’t the crime—it’s the cover-up.
The game drops players into a scenario where a corpse must be smuggled out of a hotel without detection. The catch? Bodies are awkward. They’re heavy, they flop, they leave blood trails, and they snag on doorframes like a poorly folded sheet. One misstep—dragging the wrong way, opening a door at the wrong time—and witnesses will spot you, security will intervene, or worse, a guard’s bloodhound will catch the scent.
Teamwork is mandatory. Players can’t carry the body and* hold an item at the same time. That means one person must hold the door while another yanks the corpse through, or one distracts a guard with a squeaky toy while the other stuffs the body into a laundry cart. But coordination is everything: Pull left while your friend pulls right, and the corpse plummets down the stairs. Time it wrong with the elevator, and you’re exposed.
The hotel itself becomes both obstacle and tool. A wheelchair can roll the body past reception unnoticed. A mop wipes away bloodstains. A strategically thrown distraction might buy precious seconds. But the environment is unforgiving—surveillance cameras, patrolling guards, and the ever-present risk of a body sliding off a cart and leaving a trail of evidence.
There’s no release date announced, but the game’s physics-driven chaos is already on display in early footage. It’s a farce where the stakes are absurdly high, and the only way to succeed is to turn the hotel’s own systems against it.
For fans of stealth games, this isn’t Hitman*—it’s the kind of slapstick, physics-heavy mess where the real skill is improvisation. And if you’re playing with friends, the chaos only multiplies.
